I Turn in Applications Like It's My Job!

I have been submitting applications for Post-bac premed programs all over the United States. It has been about 6 years since I had to write an application essay, and although I have been dreading it, it is even worse than I remembered. How do you not sound uber boring, but still convey your maturity? I always want to give cheeky answers to show my disdain for the formulaic application process. I think it might be better if I could send pictures and audio clips, although I’m not sure how well that would do for my maturity level score…

The typical application asks for the following:
Please include your resume, and a 500 word essay that gives your academic autobiography, reasons for wanting to enter the field, reasons for choosing this school, also please be sure to infuse your personality into every word and explain away any blips on your record.

Done? Please write and essay on your most significant healthcare experience (despite this being an application to enter into a pre-med program)
Finish that? Please now write a quasi optional essay that includes anything else you would like to tell us.

Also, please track down your SAT scores by remembering the user name and password you created when you were 16. And if you could include your ACT scores which are not recorded electronically unless you took them after 2008.

Please hunt down a college professor from your 30,000+ student public university and have them write you a letter of recommendation.

Furthermore we have added more boxes to the race and ethnicity section some of which more accurately describe your race or ethnicity than the old boxes that you have been checking since your entered kindergarten. But remember, self identification is king and a change now could affect scholarship and financial aid.